Walking around

Going on a trip with friends it was a difficult choice. Where could we go which was in a couple of hours, that we hadn’t been before and was great for photography. Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Prague. In the end deciding on the Polish city of Krakow. Near Auschwitz, Resonating with past wars and brutalities. Unknowable pain. A pretty city. Picture perfect. Scanning the weather before you go on your trip, praying that BBC, Accu, Met etc.. are wrong in their forecast of incessant drizzle. There to take pictures but no light. Mizzle, more insistent but lighter than drizzle, a constant blanket of gentle spray. You don’t really get wet but there is a dampness, a coldness that starts to seep into your bones, breaking through Gortex through non stop lightness. You start to walk around the city and apparent photo opportunities jump out, peering through doorways, into shops. It’s a great way of looking at a city, as a photographer, especially when the light makes your task really difficult. Walking around, constantly, circling the city, heading for landmarks, the grey relentless. Night time and colours arrive, the neon glow of multicoloured bulbs elongating across vast squares, reflections more dramatic than the actuality, peering down, Crouching down by pools of water, reflections illuminating, doubling images. Adding to the misty intrigue. Umbrellas dotting the skyline, adding shape and colour, providing context and interest. Armed with a pocket camera, fixed wide angle, 28mm. No opportunity to zoom in but stay in the same perspective. Interest in the fore and background. Occasionally relenting from the clicking to move indoors, sample local beers. Atmospheric locales, stylised but resonating with Coldwar, Second World War menace. Dark brooding deep reds, greens and blues. Faded. Old photos, people lost to time, coming back to life. People creating new images, taking the space, providing film sets, stuck in time. Continue to walk, searching for images. The mizzle continues. Searching for a shipwreck, graffiti providing colour contrasting to the grey unchanging sky, no shards of light to provide interest just a grey blanket providing consistency. Statues and memorials. Crumbling buildings, memories hanging in the air, trapped, nowhere to go. Keep walking, searching for form, for light. Trams providing blue and red relief, the lights inside glowing through the dank grey. Previous lives trapped in, nowhere to go. Keep walking, observing, a sadness that is flat, not overwhelming, no drama, just constant and plaintive. Puddles continue to reflect, we walk, we peer, the mizzle continues. 

Krakow street, reflected in puddle

What is the point

What is the point of life. Arriving with a fanfare then relegated to a footnote. A few people make a mark on the world but the rest of us exist on the planet, stationary, moving, quiet, talking, blah blah blah. What is point? If everyone existed to make the world a better place, a purely philanthropic existence then I can see why we exist, to demonstrate the pure spirit of humanity. Buying stuff to fulfil empty voids shows the futility of life. It is only the internal that is going to be satisfied. When you achieve something like the creation of a new song, finish a book, create an amazing meal, put on an event, get married, see your kids pass exams, see your kids, swim in ice cold water, complete the Grizzly (marathon), move house, plant some veg, get rid of the rats, or have a good day at work. That means something, but it is sometimes difficult to put your finger on exactly that is. If you stop to think then danger.

What are the most pleasurable experiences of life? Making love to your wife? Getting an email from a publisher saying they love your book, are going to publish it and give you a juicy advance? Connectivity with friends? Those moments where you feel there is real purpose because you are in a group who connect. Prince (symbol) shone so brightly but then he was gone, suddenly out of view, a retrospective guitar wielding funky moment in time. A back catalogue to be cherished, but by who? Not Prince himself. He is gone. How will history look back on him? As a genius but with dodgy lyrics. Slightly reincarnated in the form of Thundercat, Janelle Monae, Orgone, Electro Deluxe, or Dirty Loops. From Dirty Mind to Dirty Loops. Prince defined a generation, the end of the 20th century, partying like its 1999 before the millennium crash.

What does life mean to me? Love and friendships, being creatively successful and having a nice place by the sea. Not worrying about money so that it isn’t a central block on the mind and imagination. It is amazing that our world is full of people who want to kill life, cut off the very supply we exist within. Life at the moment would be a couple of days where there is no rain, the possibility for the garden to dry out rather than living in a swamp. Currently hailstones are raining down outside my window. Will this climatic changing weather ever stop. What is wrong with the world. It feels like we are slightly off axis, out of sync, there is something deeply wrong with the patterns. The wettest year on record causing pollution to stream through our waterways. Wild swimming, which became such in vogue through the covid pandemic, is fraught with coli danger. I have never seen anything like this in my lifetime. During the first few months of Covid-19 the world seemed almost at peace, beautiful clear and calm days, birds awakening through our cities, animals taking control as goats roamed through the streets of Llandudno. We need some way of regaining our equilibrium, restoring the faith, shoving us back in the path. Maybe if a meteorite crashed at exactly the right velocity and point then it would jolt planet earth back into its happy place.

I love waking up and seeing the view from my kitchen. The endless variety that the same picture conveys, changed by seasons and the vagaries of the English weather. Coastal winds transforming the seascape unfolding in front of me. The variances as the sun rises from a slightly different position each day, although often there is just a greyness the flattens everything. Mood and perspective. Whilst studying for a PhD I used to cycle between Bristol and Bath most days, stopping at the same point and snapping a shot. Again I was entranced by the differences in similarity, the chance to look more deeply when you start to know every element in your picture. Not a set of holiday snaps which blindly take you around the pool, beach, lunch, church, beach, afternoon drinks, sunset, dinner, party. A beautiful view is to be savoured, unfurled through the ages, the chance to measure your life alongside the beauty of humans and nature.

A view from my kitchen window looking South East towards sunrise, the sea and some dramatic clouds after another crazy storm.