Money, Money, Money

Money, what is it good for. Absolutely buying anything you want, not worrying about your future. Safety. We live on that edge of calmness and concern. Working daily to make ends meet, not struggling but veering towards the precipice which could cause it all to fall down. Living a comfortable life but knowing that one misstep could mean it all comes tumbling down. But we are middle class, have the security of family and friends, our health and many back up plans. We are a long way from the streets but like most people, closer than everyone thinks. It only takes one Michael Douglas day, to wake up on the wrong side, to self destruct through sheer and sudden panic. I have a contract for a couple of years, the job is engaging and interesting but already I am slightly distracted, wondering what I can do in 2026. Where will my career go, how do I ensure the future. Generally though I believe in fate, and waiting for the right opportunities to arrive. I balance my money between credit cards, juggling everyday, checking apps and fine tuning, watching the numbers gradually get lower and lower. As a student it took me a while to get used to money. I was amazed that each time I went to a cashpoint the number seemed to increase, before realising that there was a minus sign before it. Some people have money tied up in properties. Those ‘lucky’ people who inherited something or came to the housing market at an opportune point. This has long gone for the youth of today. The ladder is gradually rising off the ground, way out of reach. Asset rich, cash poor the nouveau upper middle class sometimes struggle to work, used to having money fly to them, swirling around in the sky and gently dropping into their waiting arms. For most of us money has to be learnt. The hard slog of life to get some cash, to pay for a holiday as a break from the drudgery of life. To buy something that takes us away from normality, is special. Provides a focus. I would love to buy a new synthesis for my studio but everyday money passing means that it keeps getting pushed back, waiting for that magical moment when you gain something. A minor lottery win (although I only played it for the first few weeks). Tax rebate. Work bonus. Maybe one of my tracks or books or photographs will finally make me some dosh after all this time. Waiting. Working. Longing. I don’t want much, just that little extra. But money means nothing. It is worthless. Previously gold, silver, paper and now just numbers rolling around in the ether. Money makes the world go round but will also lead to its fatality. Money will be squirrelled away by the chosen few as the earth burns, floods, dies. They will be standing there with notes stuffed in their pockets as the world gradually tips off its axis and falls away into the ether, another lonely star wondering around in outer space without a cashpoint in sight.

What is the point

What is the point of life. Arriving with a fanfare then relegated to a footnote. A few people make a mark on the world but the rest of us exist on the planet, stationary, moving, quiet, talking, blah blah blah. What is point? If everyone existed to make the world a better place, a purely philanthropic existence then I can see why we exist, to demonstrate the pure spirit of humanity. Buying stuff to fulfil empty voids shows the futility of life. It is only the internal that is going to be satisfied. When you achieve something like the creation of a new song, finish a book, create an amazing meal, put on an event, get married, see your kids pass exams, see your kids, swim in ice cold water, complete the Grizzly (marathon), move house, plant some veg, get rid of the rats, or have a good day at work. That means something, but it is sometimes difficult to put your finger on exactly that is. If you stop to think then danger.

What are the most pleasurable experiences of life? Making love to your wife? Getting an email from a publisher saying they love your book, are going to publish it and give you a juicy advance? Connectivity with friends? Those moments where you feel there is real purpose because you are in a group who connect. Prince (symbol) shone so brightly but then he was gone, suddenly out of view, a retrospective guitar wielding funky moment in time. A back catalogue to be cherished, but by who? Not Prince himself. He is gone. How will history look back on him? As a genius but with dodgy lyrics. Slightly reincarnated in the form of Thundercat, Janelle Monae, Orgone, Electro Deluxe, or Dirty Loops. From Dirty Mind to Dirty Loops. Prince defined a generation, the end of the 20th century, partying like its 1999 before the millennium crash.

What does life mean to me? Love and friendships, being creatively successful and having a nice place by the sea. Not worrying about money so that it isn’t a central block on the mind and imagination. It is amazing that our world is full of people who want to kill life, cut off the very supply we exist within. Life at the moment would be a couple of days where there is no rain, the possibility for the garden to dry out rather than living in a swamp. Currently hailstones are raining down outside my window. Will this climatic changing weather ever stop. What is wrong with the world. It feels like we are slightly off axis, out of sync, there is something deeply wrong with the patterns. The wettest year on record causing pollution to stream through our waterways. Wild swimming, which became such in vogue through the covid pandemic, is fraught with coli danger. I have never seen anything like this in my lifetime. During the first few months of Covid-19 the world seemed almost at peace, beautiful clear and calm days, birds awakening through our cities, animals taking control as goats roamed through the streets of Llandudno. We need some way of regaining our equilibrium, restoring the faith, shoving us back in the path. Maybe if a meteorite crashed at exactly the right velocity and point then it would jolt planet earth back into its happy place.

I love waking up and seeing the view from my kitchen. The endless variety that the same picture conveys, changed by seasons and the vagaries of the English weather. Coastal winds transforming the seascape unfolding in front of me. The variances as the sun rises from a slightly different position each day, although often there is just a greyness the flattens everything. Mood and perspective. Whilst studying for a PhD I used to cycle between Bristol and Bath most days, stopping at the same point and snapping a shot. Again I was entranced by the differences in similarity, the chance to look more deeply when you start to know every element in your picture. Not a set of holiday snaps which blindly take you around the pool, beach, lunch, church, beach, afternoon drinks, sunset, dinner, party. A beautiful view is to be savoured, unfurled through the ages, the chance to measure your life alongside the beauty of humans and nature.

A view from my kitchen window looking South East towards sunrise, the sea and some dramatic clouds after another crazy storm.